CHAPTER FOUR
Gradually I learned all the words kappa used in everyday life. This included their manners and customs.The most confusing is that the kappa found ridiculous what us humans were earnest about, while themselves taking seriously things humans found absurd. This was one of their customs.
For example, we humans attach significance to justice and humanity, but when I asked a kappa about these things they'd laugh uproariously. In short, their idea of humor and our sense of humor had absolutely nothing in common. One time I tried to discuss birth control with the doctor Chak. He laughed so hard his pince-nez fell off. I was perturbed, and I tried to quiz him on what was so funny, but he was unable to come up with an answer. He answered something like this -- I might be wrong about the exact wording, as I wasn’t fluent yet.
“For parents to even consider such a thing is strange. It’s too self-centered of them."
In turn, to a human there is nothing stranger than the way a kappa gives birth. Shortly after that conversation, I went to Bag’s house when his wife was due. Like us when we give birth, kappa have a doctor and nurse in attendance. However, during labor, the father speaks into the mother’s private area as though into the mouth of a telephone, saying “If you want to be born into this world, think about it carefully before giving an answer.” Kneeling, Bagg said this many times over. Then he took a break to gargle some mouthwash. The child inside his wife seemed to be concerned, for it said in a quiet voice,
“I would rather not be born. For starters, if I inherit your mental illness it will be difficult. Furthermore, I believe that existence as a kappa is not a good thing.”
Bag scratched his head when he heard this reply. However, the midwife who was there immediately thrust a thin glass tube inside his wife and injected some kind of liquid. The woman sighed with relief, and her great belly shrunk like a deflating balloon.
This kind of exchange is possible because kappa children can walk and talk immediately. Chak informed me one had been known to give lectures on the existence or non-existence of God only 26 days after birth. However, that child had died in his second month.
On a different subject, after living in that country for a couple of months, I saw a large poster on a street corner. It portrayed a dozen kappa, some blowing trumpets, some bearing swords. Above them were spiral characters like clock springs. I couldn’t translate the details, but the student Lapp who was walking with me read it out to me in a loud voice so I could take notes.
Calling genetic volunteers (followed by three exclamation points)
Healthy male and female kappa (three exclamation points)
In order to eradicate evil genetics
Must wed the unhealthy male and female kappa (three exclamation points)
I said to Lapp that this seemed impractical. Then not only he but other kappa who had gathered around us laughed out loud.
“You think so? But from what you’ve said of your home country, it is just the same. Upper class young men may fall for their housemaids, while the young ladies fall for their drivers. What is the reason for that? It’s because they are subconsciously driven to strengthen their weak genetics. I would say our volunteers are actually more admirable than some humans who will work themselves to death laboring on the railroad.”
Lapp spoke seriously but his great belly still shook with laughter. In the hubbub, I hadn’t noticed a kappa sneak up beside me until he snatched my fountain pen. Because of the slippery skin, a kappa is difficult to grab. He oozed from my grasp and, bent almost parallel to the ground, zoomed away like a mosquito.
CHAPTER FOUR
Gradually I learned all the words kappa used in everyday life. This included their manners and customs.The most confusing is that the kappa found ridiculous what us humans were earnest about, while themselves taking seriously things humans found absurd. This was one of their customs.
For example, we humans attach significance to justice and humanity, but when I asked a kappa about these things they'd laugh uproariously. In short, their idea of humor and our sense of humor had absolutely nothing in common. One time I tried to discuss birth control with the doctor Chak. He laughed so hard his pince-nez fell off. I was perturbed, and I tried to quiz him on what was so funny, but he was unable to come up with an answer. He answered something like this -- I might be wrong about the exact wording, as I wasn’t fluent yet.
“For parents to even consider such a thing is strange. It’s too self-centered of them."
In turn, to a human there is nothing stranger than the way a kappa gives birth. Shortly after that conversation, I went to Bag’s house when his wife was due. Like us when we give birth, kappa have a doctor and nurse in attendance. However, during labor, the father speaks into the mother’s private area as though into the mouth of a telephone, saying “If you want to be born into this world, think about it carefully before giving an answer.” Kneeling, Bagg said this many times over. Then he took a break to gargle some mouthwash. The child inside his wife seemed to be concerned, for it said in a quiet voice,
“I would rather not be born. For starters, if I inherit your mental illness it will be difficult. Furthermore, I believe that existence as a kappa is not a good thing.”
Bag scratched his head when he heard this reply. However, the midwife who was there immediately thrust a thin glass tube inside his wife and injected some kind of liquid. The woman sighed with relief, and her great belly shrunk like a deflating balloon.
This kind of exchange is possible because kappa children can walk and talk immediately. Chak informed me one had been known to give lectures on the existence or non-existence of God only 26 days after birth. However, that child had died in his second month.
On a different subject, after living in that country for a couple of months, I saw a large poster on a street corner. It portrayed a dozen kappa, some blowing trumpets, some bearing swords. Above them were spiral characters like clock springs. I couldn’t translate the details, but the student Lapp who was walking with me read it out to me in a loud voice so I could take notes.
Calling genetic volunteers (followed by three exclamation points)
Healthy male and female kappa (three exclamation points)
In order to eradicate evil genetics
Must wed the unhealthy male and female kappa (three exclamation points)
I said to Lapp that this seemed impractical. Then not only he but other kappa who had gathered around us laughed out loud.
“You think so? But from what you’ve said of your home country, it is just the same. Upper class young men may fall for their housemaids, while the young ladies fall for their drivers. What is the reason for that? It’s because they are subconsciously driven to strengthen their weak genetics. I would say our volunteers are actually more admirable than some humans who will work themselves to death laboring on the railroad.”
Lapp spoke seriously but his great belly still shook with laughter. In the hubbub, I hadn’t noticed a kappa sneak up beside me until he snatched my fountain pen. Because of the slippery skin, a kappa is difficult to grab. He oozed from my grasp and, bent almost parallel to the ground, zoomed away like a mosquito.
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