Tuesday, June 10, 2008

"Like a wish that disappears on the wind."

I'm a wimp but days with six classes - four before lunch and two after - are just too much for me. Even though I slept hugely last night by the time I got home again I was bone-deep weary. I don't do much in class - even when I offer to plan and lead a full-length activity I don't have more time than fits a short warmup, five to ten minutes - but every second of it is on my feet, in a thick jacket, with an attempt at a cheerful smile on my face and a loud clear voice.

Despite being that wiped out, though, lately I manage to be bored in the evenings. If I go for a short walk to the store my sore feet just want to keep walking. Even though there's nowhere to go, even though I have to be asleep in an hour. I always get to this point when I follow the same schedule day after day for long enough, where I just want to do something different with someone other than myself. It doesn't help that it was very sunny today and is still a warm, velvety summer's night, so that I just long to go and do something in it. This weekend I really need to take the train somewhere or I'm going to go insane.

Song of the Day: I know you don't really care but sharing music I love is one of the highlights of my day. Now, I mostly listen to male singers because I'm extremely picky about female singers, having for a time lived under the delusion of being a female singer myself. So either I think, "she's not that good," or, if she is, I'll get sad that I wasn't good enough to be in her position. A female singer has to really work it to catch my attention. Hirahara Ayaka certainly did that with her "Hoshi Tsumugi no Uta" or Star Spinning Song. Released in January of this year, it sounds like a melody from your distant childhood. Very sweet, simple, wistful yet uplifting. Though she sounds at first like her voice is too fragile and whispery to have any power to it, she reveals a strength that rises and falls as the melody calls for it.

1 comment:

woody said...

Find new things to keep occupied, the busier you are doing lots of things (writing, exercising, studying stocks...anything requiring effort) the less time you will have for brooding and the more adept your brain will become. It's time to train yourself for the demands and responsibilities of being an independant adult; to that end developing healthy routines will allow you meet the challenges of your job with greater ease and become more capable. Your future will inevitably hold a certain amount of hard work just to sustain your basic living necessities---the faster you conform and get used to it the beter you can deal with it and find your comfort zone. You could probably work a 10USD/hr. job 36hrs. a week and support yourself, as long as you lived frugally and kept yourself super healthy cause you couldn't aford healthcare on that). If you had wanted to work 30 hrs. a week and live comfortably you should have majored in the sciences. All right, that's enough advice I'm sure you don't want to hear----best wishes---wood